@7 minutes ago with 41577 notes

"

You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend’s wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard.

And you’re such a sponge. You pay for nothing, you always say “Oh, I’ll get you later,” but later never comes.

And what really bothers me, is you pretend you’re this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I’m honest about it. I don’t buy them a copy of “Catcher in the Rye” and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual. He wasn’t! He was a spoiled brat! And that’s why you like him so much, he’s you!

God, you’re pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you’re some great writer even though you’re terrible….

…And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should “legalize pot, man,” how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America.

Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle!

And by the way, driving a Prius doesn’t make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! You don’t believe in Jesus Christ or any religion for that matter, because “religion is for idiots!” Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn’t nearly as bad as your failure as a father! How’s that son of yours you never see?

But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren’t such a bore! That’s the worst of it, Brian. You’re just a big, sad, alcoholic bore.

"

Glen Quagmire telling Brian Griffin why he doesn’t like him in “Jerome is the New Black Guy” (11/22/2009) episode of Family Guy. (via frank-o-meter)

(via bruinshark)

@2 hours ago with 76 notes

altpunkmermaidprincess:

gamingartandlove:

So uh, I haven’t seen this on my dash, but check out this kickstarter!

They’re waterballoons that SELF TIE, make a HUNDRED at a time, AND AND they’re biodegradablee!! Seriously why isn’t this all over my dash yet??

They’ve already reached WAY over their goal, but you can still get some early bird deliveries for an early start of the water balloon madness!

What a time to be alive

(via captaincatwoman)

@2 hours ago with 59770 notes
educationisnotintelligence:

chief-rumbly-noises:

xstayfocused:

brauerpower:

stepfordprepster:

agelfeygelach:

This is a very important dog. This dog has a good heart.

THE FACE IN THE LAST PICTURE!!!

Pup

My heart is sobbing

I will never be over this

So the dog put the jar onto the stuffed dogs paw

educationisnotintelligence:

chief-rumbly-noises:

xstayfocused:

brauerpower:

stepfordprepster:

agelfeygelach:

This is a very important dog. This dog has a good heart.

THE FACE IN THE LAST PICTURE!!!

Pup

My heart is sobbing

I will never be over this

So the dog put the jar onto the stuffed dogs paw

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via fuckatyourleisure)

@2 hours ago with 263368 notes

apollojustlce:

hanging out with your best friend more like

image

(via fuckatyourleisure)

@2 hours ago with 208599 notes
@7 minutes ago with 161644 notes

radicalrebellion:

feministcaptainmorgan:

baronsledjoys:

firecannotkillafitblr:

This drives me mad. I used to work in a bookstore, and was talking to my coworker and he just yelled out “stop flirting with me!” at this ridiculous volume and it was humiliating because
1. I wasn’t
2. I got in trouble for acting unprofessional
3. He embarrassed me in front of a line of people
4. And he only stopped insisting that I was flirting when my boyfriend (who is now my husband) said, “dude, trust me, she’s not flirting with you” to him

That asshole respected my BOYFRIEND saying I wasn’t flirting more than he respected me saying it and I was the one who was talking! The whole scene got me in trouble at work. And the most ridiculous part is we were talking about a fucking book. In a bookstore.

One time, my ex boyfriend had a crush on some girl, and said that he thought he might have “a chance” with her.

When I asked him what made him think that, he said “Well, she talks to me.”

And this is why it is so difficult to be a girl and be friends with men who are attracted to women.

Can we also add that this is why a lot of women do the resting bitch face when out in public. Cause dudes swear a glance or a smile is flirting.

^^^^^^ yes

(Source: girlcodeonmtv, via captaincatwoman)

@2 hours ago with 144094 notes
@2 hours ago with 18050 notes

first-kiss-since-45:

vikadi:

set of nostalgia drawings by gabriel picolo. i don’t think i have enough space on my tumblr for all his works that i’d like to post.

these are incredible

(via fuckatyourleisure)

@2 hours ago with 67825 notes
foodchewer:

the motto

foodchewer:

the motto

(Source: wwiao, via tyleroakley)

@16 hours ago with 226960 notes